Crossroads

2014 needs to be different. I need to choose a road and follow it. I'm tired of being stuck at the crossroads not knowing who I am. This is who I was.

She was fat and unhealthy and not very happy, but I knew who she was. She was safe. She was invisible. No one looked twice at her and that was fine.

This is where I am now.

I have no idea who she is. None. She's healthier, more successful, has amazing friends and family. But who is she? Can she love herself enough? Can someone else ever love her? Can she take a chance and not worry about getting hurt?

I miss being in a relationship. I miss kissing and quiet times. I miss laying in bed talking about the day and waking up with someone special. Heck I miss a good fight. I want to believe I deserve someone special. I want to believe there is someone out there that will make me get goosebumps. But what if there isn't?