Crossroads

So I posted this on Facebook last week.

I can't love, shot full of holes
Don't feel nothing, I just feel cold
Don't feel nothing, just old scars
Toughening up around my heart

But I want love, just a different kind
I want love, won't break me down
Won't brick me up, won't fence me in
I want a love, that don't mean a thing
That's the love I want, I want love

These are some of the lyrics from the Elton John song I Want Love. Most people remember it because it was the one with Robert Downey Jr just before his big comeback in the video. Love the song. It has spoken to me since it first came out. It has totally summed up the way I've felt about relationships and romance for a while now. I did the marriage thing. Ok so it wasn't with the right guy, but seriously, I was never a kid that pictured her big white wedding. I wanted kids, but that's all.

So where does that leave me? I know what I DON'T want. I don't want to settle. I don't want someone who has no initiative or interests. I don't want someone I have to support in every way. I don't want someone who doesn't stimulate me mentally as well as physically.


But what do I want? And is it even possible? Been thinking a lot about this. Don't have any answers yet. But until I do, I'm going to keep working on me. And if that means some meaningless hook ups along the way, well that's what it means. But to be honest, I'm already finding them to be getting old fast.